WEEDS 5.5 “VAN NYUS”
The 5th episode of the 5th season, “Van Nuys”, begins with Andy and Nancy at the Women’s Health Center, to meet with her obstetrician Dr. Audra Kitson (played by guest star Alanis Morissette) to discuss the option of aborting her baby. Is this obstetrician someone Esteban picked out for her? I can’t imagine why she would want to do this, because she would be signing her own death warrant if Esteban ever found out, and if Dr. Kitson employed by Esteban and Nancy decided to abort the child, she could rat her out to Esteban.
Would she seriously consider an abortion, or as Andy put it, “go to Van Nuys”, or “You’ve gotta abort that gopher, Nance!” And she scolds a pregnant woman for eating junk food in the waiting area, even though the woman is there to have an abortion herself. She must care something about the baby, right? She leaves without having made her mind up but instead decides to plant a garden of nice smelling herbs to help curb her hyper-sensitivity to smells. Her garden is killed by grubs, as if almost symbolically by the end of the episode.
Meanwhile, Andy makes good on his promise by impersonating his dead brother Judah and going out on a date with the far from normal “Mags”, and they go for fondue, re-enacting her and Judah’s first date, and before Andy can enjoy dinner, she asks him, as Judah, to take her virginity, which of course causes Andy to do a spit take. Before their date is over they end up in the midst of a bunch of homeless guys and Andy ends up having sex the whack-job mags. But, he ended up with Judah’s money and continues to try to convince Nancy to run away with him, with the baby or without, as he tells her “These are very dark waters you’re swimming in, even for you.” But, it seems that Nancy hasn’t made up her mind about moving in with Esteban yet.
Elsewhere, Nancy finds she has a squatter in her garage. Celia! Complaining that she has no place to go, and she was left to die in Mexico, Nancy gives her two days to get out. She even asks Nancy if there’s any chance she can get her old job back at the mall. 
Gotta love that Celia. Poor
girl, nothing seems to be going right with her these days. And, best yet, when Celia looks in the freezer in the garage, we finally find out what happened to Sucio! Celia runs up to Nancy’s bedroom yelling “Dead Mexican!!” Nancy has to call Esteban telling him, and he send two of his thugs out to retrieve the body. Celia is there when they arrive and watch as they proceed to put Sucio’s body in a barrel of acid. When Celia tells Nancy she is going to take a bath, Nancy tells her that if she does, the toaster will go in after her. But, it seems for the time being, Celia has all she needs to hold over Nancy’s head as she took pictures of the thugs disposing of Sucio’s body and that it’s taking place in Nancy’s garage. Looks like Celia will be staying indefinitely. Although I’m not sure how the pictures will hold any water. She’s done plenty of things Nancy could come back with.
After getting ripped off by his teacher in the last episode, Shane, Isabelle and Ignacio pay a visit to Mr. Sandusky. Shane takes back the weed but also takes several items from the apartment and when Ignacio tells Shane to “shoot him in the leg” he shoots his pet cockatoo, thinking he meant to shoot the bird, not his teacher. Later, Nancy makes Shane return all the items and bring over a new iguana to replace the bird, telling him birds carry disease and this would be better with the ladies. But, he retaliates against Shane, telling he is going to fail him, and knocking him to the floor. Nancy goes ape over this, picking up a baseball bat and using it to cut off his air supply tells him it’s not nice to steal from a child and makes sure he won’t take advantage of her son again before they leave and grounding Shane, including “no more tweetering.” There are still signs of the badass Nancy Botwin I’ve always loved.
Not a whole lot of Doug and Silas in this episode, although they do visit a “Weed Agent” by the name of “The Wizard” as recommended by Deputy Jones (guest Larry Joe Campbell) to supply their “medical marijuana” store. After some haggling over price with Doug counter offering with “suck my balls” they reach an agreement with some coaxing by “The Wizard’s” sword wielding “associate.” Doug did manage to throw a few one-liners in there as he and Silas were setting up shop. “I think I’m slightly retarded in the mouth,” says Doug after he and Silas hurl insults and then hug it out after Doug takes a punch in the mouth after blaming Silas for killing his father, and then recanted it by saying “you didn’t kill your father, Shane did.”
But, to me the biggest surprise came when Andy seems to have convinced a teary-eyed Nancy to run away with him, leave a goodbye note to Esteban saying he’ll understand if he truly loves her, and drive off and escape his evil, it goes the other way, Andy gets the goodbye note instead, and she and Shane end up moving in with Esteban.
Does she really like the guy?
Or is she just afraid he’ll come after her, which, of course, he would.
Will Andy be her knight in shining armor to rescue her from the so-called evil clutches of Esteban?
Has Esteban changed for the sake of his unborn child?
It’s going to be very interesting what happens now that she has moved in with Esteban. I’m sure we’re in for some very interesting episodes to come!
Stay Tuned!
Until Next Time,
Michael Queenstown
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