WEEDS

SEASON 5 FINALE:

“ALL ABOUT MY

MOM”

Well here we are gang, another season of Weeds has come and gone.  Season 5 comes to a chilling conclusion as Nancy walks into a room of her house to find a masseuse waiting for her, a gift she has a hard time refusing. Nancy tries to relax as the masseuse works on her. The masseuse tells Nancy she is strong like the boss, until, of course she finds out that the boss is Pilar.

We find Celia, looking more-and-more Nancy-like, making a screwdriver out of concentrated OJ in her hide-out in a storage facility, when Doug drops by. They try to agree to the terms of selling her stash. Doug only has $37 to his name, so she suggests selling on credit. Then he notices her pot is not his, and she realizes he knows she stole his pot. He threatens to sic the black cop on her and now she knows she was set up. She bangs him on the head with her pitcher of screwdriver, and finishes the rest with one last swig.

Back at home Silas gets a call from Adelita from her bedroom upstairs asking him to come up to her. When he gets there he finds out she is numb on one side of her body due to a bad reaction to Heroin. Nancy talks to her surly son Shane, who doesn’t say much of anything any more.

“Holy s—, you’re a junkie,” he says.

“I’m a recreational user,” she insists.

He says he’s going to call her dad.

Elsewhere, Andy leads Audra (or as we have come to know her, Dr. Alanis Morissette) into the garage, covering her eyes. He claims to have a sexy surprise for her. It’s a new minivan. He sold the General Lee and a few arcade games. He also unregistered their phone number so Gale the pro-life stalker can’t find them and forwarded it to the van. He has her climb into the front seat to notice the ring hanging from the rear view mirror. She’s distracted by the TV screens and GPS and pretty much everything but the ring.

“God dammit, look at the rear view mirror,” Andy barks at he, and turns her head toward the ring.

She tells him he should take it down because if the light hits it, it might blind someone and cause an accident. He asks her to marry him, but before she can answer, Silas calls on the van phone, saying he needs her for an emergency. Nancy comes downstairs to find her husband having coffee with Pilar, who says she and Esteban have always been a great team. Esteban says that they’ve come to an understanding.

“So I’m guessing death, and/or blackmail and/or imprisonment is the glue that holds you together,” Nancy tells her.

Pilar tells Nancy Esteban will win the election, even married to her , but it’d still be best if she stayed in the background.  Pilar invites her to a fundraiser at her house that night. She should come for 30 minutes, then get a headache and leave, she directs Nancy, then leaves. Nancy tells Esteban about looking for him yesterday and finding him on TV. He says Pilar is blackmailing him and his options were to cooperate or go to prison for life.

Nancy calls a now free Guillermo. She tells him she wants it done today. He says it’s no problem.

Meanwhile, Doug wakes up tied up in Celia’s storage locker. She explains that she’s going to go back to being a drug dealer. But Doug tells her she’s not cut out to be a drug dealer. She doesn’t have a team. Nancy had a team. Celia wants a team.

Back in the house, Nancy runs into Andy and Audra (wearing the ring) in the hallway outside Adelita’s door. Silas comes out and thinks his mom knows. And then he has to tell her that Adelita is a junkie. Audra and Silas go check on Adelita, while Andy and Nancy go downstairs where Nancy finds out Audra hasn’t said ‘yes’ yet.

Esteban wanders in and wonders why Andy is there. Eventually Nancy tells him Audra is with Adelita, and immediately Esteban comes to the conclusion that his daughter is pregnant. When Nancy has to tell him the truth, he thinks that that is impossible.

Finally he says “I can’t” and walks away.

Well, Nancy says, then I will.

Meanwhile, Celia greets her new team: Doug (co-team leader and finance), Dean (legal), Sanjay (sales), Ignacio (supply and, as “Perro Isano,” muscle) and Isabelle (brains).

Audra and Andy walk home. She’s still wearing the ring, but hasn’t answered. They walk inside, where they find crazy protester Gale wielding a crossbow. Andy runs away immediately, leaving Audra there alone with her dangerous stalker.

At the fundraiser, Silas says his mom arranged for Adelita to go to a rehab in Arizona. And that it was weird seeing Esteban cry. Cesar tells Nancy to get used to Pilar and her ways. She says she’s prepared other ways. Nancy tells Esteban she’s leaving. He says he’s sorry about everything. He gives her his jacket and she walks out. Pilar walks out with her. Pilar tells Nancy she knows she tried to have Guillermo to knock her off, and that next time she tries to have her killed, she might want to choose someone who doesn’t work for her and isn’t still mad at Nancy for ratting him out. Pilar suggests they add two more to the list: Shane and Silas. Nancy tells Pilar if she comes near her kids, she’ll kill her. Pilar coolly lists the ways they might go, in a car accident, a plane crash….

“Or a croquet mallet,” someone says as she is whacked solidly in the head and knocked into the nearby swimming pool. It’s Shane, who looks pretty pleased with himself. All Nancy can do is look at him with a combination of relief and horror.

And as season 5 comes to a chilling cliff-hanging close, we are left with a motionless and presumably lifeless, Pilar floating face down in the pool.

So, I hope all you Weeds fans have enjoyed this season as much as I have.

Your comments, as always are encouraged and appreciated.

I again thank everyone for reading me and I look forward to bringing you more in the future.

So…

Until Next Time…

I am…

Michael Queenstown

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